A. Introduction

• While after the wedding day people go to the honeymoon, actually, honeymoon begins the time you start dating. So, let’s start at the beginning
• * Take it from the day you meet the girl to access her. Depending on a person ,you shower her with presents or you simply talk your story through.
• ** When the time that you are given what you have been asking for, your honeymoon begins.
• ***You start to kiss and go on to making love. Every time you go on a date it is honeymoon. Everything is all right.
• **** This goes on until you get to be introduced to families and then get married.

B. Umjolo aka Dating

After months of being a suitor, you finally get accepted. What now??? You were not prepared to be accepted. You go home. You forget even to go and brag to your friends. Your mind is worried, even stressed. You have been talking with your friends about this. You know it very well.

Knowing about it is never the same as knowing it. To completely say you know it, it takes practice. It is important for me to tell you something. You must recognize that you are in the process of learning. Every experience is different. Allow yours to take place. So, go home. Let your thoughts flow.

Tomorrow will come and you will get the second chance. You find yourself kissing and talking. Your comedian self comes into action. You wonder if it is really you in love. Everything is honeymoon. You go out and eat ice cream. Some days you go for picnic. You enjoy nature. Birds chirping in a blue sky.

One day, you talk to yourself. “All is well with our mjolo. I love my girlfriend and I believe she loves me too.” Little do you know that some hunk is falling for your girlfriend. One day your girlfriend while going on her way she meets this classy classic car driving guy. They talk. Your girlfriend finds herself inside this elegant car. She fails to keep quiet and finds herself praising the car. She never recognize the fact that she was praising the owner of the car. She was falling in love not knowing it.

The next time she saw her boyfriend, she behaved in the sense that she despised him. He began to be possessed by confusion. This kept frustrating him. It was too late for him. The more he tried, the more he seemed foolish. Finally, he accepted his fate and moved on . By moving on I mean he forgot about her.

He began to realise that this was a learning curve for him. His mind told him he had to work hard to keep a girlfriend. He went to trains to sell peanuts. Back then the packet was 2 cents. All the same he continued until he upgraded with cigarettes. His stock grew. In the next months he added a box of apples and banana. He had to settle down and have a table. Unlike today, that was easy then.

One day he saw a beautiful woman among a group of women. One 💓 said this one is yours. The other 💓 reminded him of the past. For a wink he thought about this. When he came back all these women were inside the train. One man asked for a cigarette. The other person asked for apples. All happened so fast. The train left. His thoughts went back to the woman. Will he ever meet her again?

There were no cell phones. There was no social media. Even if he wanted to start looking, he was doomed. He prayed that night that they meet again. He had began the change of clothes. He always wore the cologne. Even though he was a street/station vendor he was presentable. Days passed. They turned to weeks. He was even beginning to forget her.

Then, lady luck visited his corner. There she was in front of him. For a moment he got caught staring straight into her eyeballs. The woman was also stunned. She had never got that attention before. She even forgot to buy. Eventually a customer at the side broke the silence. She wanted bananas. “Do you have bananas?” He wondered why she asked as they were in front of her. “Yes R1,50 each.” She took them and left.

The two strangers went back to their staring. You wonder if both of them loved the attention they were getting or the boy was hesitant. Finally the boy started the conversation. “How can I help you?” The woman looked down browsing with her eyes on the table. “Mix bananas and apples, don’t forget to add nuts.” The boy smiled and said, “what a combo”. While he packed everything, he asked if she was around. She told him that she was from KwaMakhutha. As the boy was from there the conversation became smooth sailing. They exchanges landlines.

That evening he went home thinking a lot about that day’s events. Were they falling in love? Should he call her on the very same day? Mary sat by the telephone waiting for it to ring. But there was nothing. Only the next day the telephone rang. They talked for hours. Finally he said, “I will see you on Saturday my love.” A voice on the other side said,”Goodnight my sweetheart”

It was a long way from Tuesday to Saturday. Their conversation stopped them from talking. Their date was on Saturday and only then they speak.

Saturday came. The hearts were eager to meet each other. The mat and basket he was carrying were soon on the grass. They hugged eagerly. They sat down and stared at each other. Soon they kissed and kissed. They did not stop. Hands were all over the place both sides. There was moaning. There was excitement. Panties were down and they realised on old white man was staring at them. The mood dampened. They laughed at each other when got up. He took his guiding stick and went. The man was blind of course.

They refreshed their meeting. The honeymoon was on. Who had time to wait for another day. It was nice they met, kissed, touched and made sweet love. Unforgettable experience. The boy had moves. The girl knew how to welcome someone. They were an official couple. Finally…..

Yes they both agreed a couple of months. They were ready. Time waits for no one. How many men or women do you have to ride before you know it. A day was arranged to meet the boys family. With us until you get married you are a boy. Older people will use you for this and that.

The boy was having a true stall by now. He was driving a bakkie. He used it for work and personal stuff. It was a red van from Toyota. On that day, he opened the door for her. He returned to the driver’s seat and the car was on the road.

At the boy’s home everybody was there. Introductions were made. Everyone was happy. Mary, the girlfriend had to answer questions about her. It seemed everyone was happy with her. She was smart. She was kind in every way you can think of.

Wedding

When two people are in love, to stay close to each other and engage, wedding is the way to go. Preparations were made.

Lobola ( Dowry) was paid. The Dowry process differ from people to people. Others are believed not to pay Dowry. With black people, this is the time when families get to gift each other. These meetings help them to know each other well.

All of this lead to one day. The wedding day. The beautiful day in the life of a woman and man as well. Music is part of this celebration. There is food and drinks. At the end when the couple is tied together, everyone go their way. Eventually they are two.

Happiness goes way to the hotel or wherever. This is supposed to be the first time these two meet in bed. Unfortunately their real honeymoon was at the beginning of Umjolo or rather dating.

Then comes the big one

Marriage

All the roads lead here. This place depends on the state of the couple. Some already have children of their own. Some have children from earlier marriages. Others from different people they met before. These situations bring problems. Baby mamas and dad’s would want to contact each of you in connection with their kids. This means you splitting up your time between your partner and many other people. Sometimes in your meetings the bodies remember and can’t hold back.

There is another problem. You carry the debt of your wedding day into your marriage. This means that before enjoying marriage you have to deal with the aftermath of your wedding. Unfortunately there are demands of your marriage and this needs you to mix wedding debts with marriage demands. This leads to sleepless nights. There are constant fights between you and a couple.

You sometimes think of your wedding day. The reality of the marriage helps you understand that a wedding and marriage are two different things.

Whether you buy the house through the bank or you built it, it does not matter. Monthly payments are consistent causing stress. At first you become happy with the arrangement but then it becomes too much. Your not too new car demands repairs all the time.

The survival of the marriage depends on how approach your problems.

Photos by Google